My First Writing Challenge

This is my first Indie Ink Challenge. I haven't done fictional writing in about eight years, so I'm very rusty. But I wanted to push myself, so I gave it a whirl. Cheers to a starting point, and to improvement over time!

A wonderful Star Trek reference:
"The good of the one outweighs the good of the many."

(FYI, my son's middle name is Tiberius)



That was the night I realized that I knew nothing.
Looking around the room at the remains of yet another failed family Christmas gathering, I saw the demise of my family among the unopened presents and empty glasses of hard cider.
As if he wasn't already drunk enough, my husband was by now drinking away his sorrows at some dive bar, most likely picking up on the nearest woman. I can't remember the last time he touched me, or even slept in the same bed as me. My children were gone, angry or crying. Or both.
Sitting there with only the dim tree lights, flashes of my children passed before me. My youngest, failing yet another semester at community college. My oldest, dumped yet again by a cheating bitch. And then there's my middle, my Anna. She just has so much anger.
"Stop trying to fucking save everyone! Look at you. You can't even take care of yourself. You're a fucking disgrace." I could hear her disgust with me as she told me this before slamming the door.
And looking at myself, she was right. I was wearing the same outfit I wore last Christmas, along with the fake smile I'd been wearing for 29 years, since the day of my shotgun wedding. I gave my life to my family, feigning happiness, taking care of all of their needs, giving them everything and myself nothing. I thought I knew what was best for them, but I ruined them. My husband is still an alcoholic thanks to my blind-eye and picture-perfect family facade. My children can't do their own homework, can't function in a relationship, and resent me. Was I grandiose enough to think that I could save everyone?
No, I was stupid enough to believe that I knew what was right. I gave my life to my family, selflessly, because I felt that the good of many outweighed the good of one, of me. This, of course, assumes that I know what good is. And I didn't. In my self-righteous selflessness, I ignored the fact that I could be wrong. Perhaps divorce can be the best thing for a family. Perhaps letting a child fail second grade is the best thing to do.
I don't know. I really fucking don't. All I know is what is most likely good for me. Shit, I don't even know that. I don't know the right answer, I don't know what is "good". And I'm done pretending. I'm done with rescuing others. My children are grown and can't even rescue themselves. How can we impress our values, our definition of "good" and "right" onto others? How can I say that the good of many outweighs anything, when I have no right to assume what is good for someone else since I obviously don't know what is right for me, for one?
And I cried tears of failure, of decisions I could never take back, of a life I could never relive.